Finding colleges, let alone ones where you can play a sport, is a daunting challenge for high school students. The sheer number of colleges is enough to make most 17 year-olds a little jittery. To be successful in recruiting, the athlete has to drive the recruiting process forward. But there are lots of moments in the college recruitment process when a parent's guidance and assistance are invaluable.

As parents, concentrate on what is right for your child. If he's not Harvard material, don't push him in that direction. If she wants to explore a lot of other activities, maybe Division I isn't right after all. Most importantly, don't be overbearing. Instead, think of yourself as teammates trying to win the recruiting game together. The cool thing is that this can be an exciting, collaborative experience.

Here's how parents can have a hugely positive impact on recruiting:

• Help your kid identify 10-ish colleges that seem to have the right combination of sports and academics.


• Sit down together and write a cover letter. Help edit, but don't censor.


• Practice recruiting phone conversations at the kitchen table. Play both roles, so your kid gets to see what it's like to be on the other end of the line.


• Help keep all of the recruiting materials organized and your CaptainU recruiting Logs up to speed.


• Make sure that your kid maintains regular contact with each college coach.


• Address the financial issues — which are a complicated aspect of the college selection process that will stump most kids.


• When your kid reaches an impasse, help him work through it.


• Speak to college coaches only when you absolutely must. Otherwise, let your kid do the talking.

Your most important job is to keep the vibe positive. There are always setbacks in recruiting. How you deal with them will help set the tone for your kid. Emphasize the point that this is an exciting opportunity in which your family can take control of the college recruitment process.

How much sway do college coaches have? Can they get you admitted to a college? We run down the myths and realities of college admissions and college sports in our weekly radio show.

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Many schools don't even offer athletic scholarships. There are no scholarships in the Ivy League or in Division III.

Schools that do offer athletic scholarships are strictly limited by the NCAA to a certain number of scholarships. Whether a school actually funds the full allotment of scholarships is another factor that can work against you.

When it comes to tuition, there are usually payment alternatives. You and your parents just have to be creative and persistent.

Never write off a college for financial reasons without consulting the school's financial aid office. With the financial aid people, discuss academic scholarships, minority scholarships, community service scholarships, federal grants, and loans.

Read more: NCAA Scholarship Limits.

A college coach who is committed to getting a recruit will often investigate the recruit's chances of getting institutional financial aid.

If the team was going to offer the recruit a 50% scholarship, but the college will offer a 60% scholarship, it makes sense to go the non-athletic financial aid route.

NCAA scholarship limits are a key consideration when looking at Division I colleges. NAIA Scholarships are a different matter. In a given year, a Division I college team is allowed a relatively small number of scholarships. For women's soccer, for example, it's currently fourteen. The coach can divide these scholarships among as many players as she wishes. So fourteen players may get full sports scholarships, or 28 players might get half scholarships. Coaches tend to choose the latter course, dividing scholarships among a number of players.

As mentioned before, a college may offer athletic scholarships, but not fully fund the NCAA/NAIA allowance. So there are Division I women's teams out there that only have, say, eight athletic scholarships. When you factor in the 30-person roster of a college team, the outlook for a full scholarship for the average player is rather bleak.

If a coach doesn't offer me a scholarship, does that mean he doesn't want me on his team?

Year in and out this pernicious myth races through circles of players and parents. Unfortunately, it has been the downfall of many college careers before they even begin.

Don't be deterred if you aren't offered a scholarship. The reality is that between dramatic legal and financial restrictions, college teams are very limited in their ability to pay their players' tuition. Does that mean that you might not get an athletic scholarship? Possibly.

Does it necessarily mean that a coach doesn't want you on his team? No.

Unless you're one of the top players in the country, don't expect a team to give you a full athletic scholarship. There are even some college players with national team experience who aren't on full rides.

For athletes who are good enough to get a scholarship, partial scholarships are more likely. NCAA scholarship limits restrict college coaches to a certain number of total scholarships. (Or, read about NAIA Scholarships.)

Being a very frugal breed, coaches often divide their scholarships among a number of players. If you are not offered an athletic scholarship, don't give up your college soccer dreams. Nor should you necessarily remove a particular school from the running because you are not offered an athletic scholarship.

Making financial arrangements for college is intimidating for high school students. Parents can be a tremendous help by contacting admissions and financial aid departments and working through the financial aspect.

In your conversations with the financial aid people at a college, try to devise a solution to the essential question: if my child really wants to go to your school, what do we need to do to make it happen?

The answer may not come easily, but don?t tear out your hair. Work towards the answer systematically, with the guidance of the admissions department. Keep in mind that if they accept your daughter, it's because they really her to come to their school. This should be pretty encouraging, especially when you're facing gnarly issues like tuition.

There are many rules that govern NCAA scholarships. If you're offered an athletic scholarship, go to the NCAA's website and familiarize yourself with some of the rules, because this is a key part of athletic recruitment. Here are a few key rules:

• Athletic scholarships are not guaranteed for four years. They are awarded one academic year at a time for up to five years. So sometimes a player will get a scholarship one year and not the next. Coaches are usually considerate about keeping injured players on scholarship. However, before signing with a team, you should ask the coach how he deals with injured players who are on scholarship. If you get injured and have to sit out a year, will you lose your sports scholarship?


• Division III schools do not offer athletic scholarships. Non-athletic scholarships, however, are often available on the basis of academic excellence, extracurricular talents, and demonstrated need. Learn other NCAA recruiting guidelines.


• Pell Grants and other governmental scholarship programs may be available in addition to athletic scholarships. Contact individual admissions departments to learn more about such opportunities and whether you can mix athletic scholarships and institutional financial aid.

There are a number of federal college scholarship funds and programs, including Pell Grants, low interest government loans, and Federal Work Study. To apply for these funds, you have to start with the FAFSA.

The FAFSA is basically a family finances questionnaire. Based on your responses, the Department of Education produces a Student Aid Report which includes your Expected Family Contribution (EFC.)

This report is made available to you and the colleges to which you apply. Schools use your EFC to determine if you should receive federal financial aid, and the form in which it should be—loans, grants, etc. For more information, and to complete the FAFSA online, go the FAFSA official site.

Somehow, inexorably, college tuition seems to keep going up at a faster rate than inflation. The Times featured an interesting article this week on that ever-so-uplifting topic. What to do about it? Here are three suggestions:

• Find colleges that really want you. (Of course, make sure that you want them too.) Often they'll be willing to help you with tuition.


• Find out what college sports scholarships are available. Don't be surprised or totally bummed if the answer is "not many."


• Use FastWeb or Scholarships.com to find and apply for various non-athletic scholarships.


• Research federal loan programs such as Stafford Loans and Pell Grants.


• Learn to play the tuba. Okay, that's partly a joke. But find a way to be different. Admissions departments are always looking for people who bring unique skills to the table.

The most important thing, though, is that you wind up at a good-fit school. While all of this might make a scholarship seem wonderful, this is precisely what makes college athletic scholarships dangerous: they can make you lose sight of what's important.